Things I have overthought into low-key existential crises

When it comes to overthinking, I would like to think that I am in a better place than I was 10 years ago. Once I spent an entire weekend narrating my actions in my brain “Isabel went outside, and locked the door, she looked to her right and wished she could stop narrating her life, but she couldn’t”… fun, huh? During another period of my life I would be hanging out with a group of friends having a normal conversation, then suddenly quiet down and become painfully aware that we were all gonna die some day.

I have now stopped taking part in such fun activities, however there’s still some things my brain likes to over-analyse and squeeze all the fun out of. I am well aware of this habit, and the fact that other lovely people on the internet suffer from it as well, so today I thought I would share some things I have overthought into low-key existential crises

1. Any Hairdo Ever

Bobby pins, scrunchies, hairbands… they all seem like great ideas on the model in the website, good ideas in my cart, ok ideas in my bathroom in front of the mirror, and awful, embarrassing ideas when in public.

I cannot count the amount of hours spent in front of the bathroom mirror playing with hair accessories, straighteners, and other torture devices to end up with a mediocre result. But worse is the self-consciousness that follows when catching a glimpse of myself on the window of the bus/metro/car on my way to school/work/a social event. 99% of the times my hairdos end with me thinking to myself “you look stupid” and sporting a very basic but safe ponytail for the rest of the day.

2. My “Art”

Hence the pictures for this post. Whatever this so-called art is: a poem, a collage, a drawing… You can assume that it has been born after hours of pondering, erasing and redoing, and wondering what life is and why humans are even on this planet to begin with.

3. My Tinder Bio

Let’s just start by saying that being single and dating is a nightmare for any over-thinkers out there. “Did he see my message?” “Am I good enough for him?” “Is he even good enough for me?” “Do I like him?” “Do I love him?” “What IS love?” and a long etcetera.

During my short (thank God) single life I attempted to make a Tinder profile. I was fine with selecting the photos, but when it came to the bio… I had so many expectations for that bio: It had to be funny, smart, sexy, it had to captivate my essence as a human being in one short paragraph. The pressure was too much for this little brain of mine, so what did I end up with?

“Grammar is sexy.”

You are welcome, single men out there 😉

You are probably not surprised that I did NOT meet my boyfriend on Tinder ( I din’t meet anyone on Tinder, because I am too awkward to actually meet a complete stranger and talk to them, but that’s an issue for a different post).

4. How much fun I am gonna have at a party

I really wish there was an accurate way for me to measure this. I have tried several factors: who will be there, where it will happen, how easy it is to get to and from, is there alcohol involved… etc. But none of them gives me all the information I need. So I think and think and think about all the possible outcomes, the things people might say, at what time I may want to come back home… And then end up staying on my couch watching Netflix.

Now on to some honourable mentions
  • Beginning and ending of emails
  • Whether or not I am making people feel uncomfortable
  • Guest lists for any parties
  • Crop tops (maybe I am too old for this one anyways)
  • My order at restaurants
  • This question: “What is your expected salary?”
  • The name of this blog
  • The amount of salt when cooking

Well if this wasn’t free therapy I don’t know what is. What are some small things you overthink?