I want to be funny, so bad it’s kinda lame

Today in the series “Isa tries to tackle the patriarchy one step at a time”… Humor! How does this have anything to do with the patriarchy, you may ask? Because of articles such as this one:

Why Women Aren’t Funny

Long story short (no need to waste your time reading all of that bullsh*t) we still live in a society where men are perceived as funnier than women. More stand-up comedians, comedy actors, directors, authors… etc are men, and you still hear the sentence “You are pretty funny… for a woman”. In this other much better article, we can read that research shows โ€œMen prefer women who are receptive to their humor, whereas women prefer men who produce humor.โ€ 

But enough of me boring you with the extensive (15 min) research I have done for this post. The point is that I want to be funny, because, hello? making people laugh is pretty awesome, and I have to wonder why is it that I am not quite there yet?

1. Confidence

So let’s agree we can rule out the gender factor, and assume that a female brain has the same ability to produce humor as a male one. For me, the biggest difference has to be the confidence. It takes an amount of courage to deliver a joke, and more so to deliver it well. In a society where men have always been in a position of power, it’s normal that they are more confident, and this translates to their sense of humor.

I myself have noticed that I am the funniest with my family, since I am not afraid of being judged, or in my head about the perfect timing.

2. Condescendence

Why is it that some men react to women’s humor with a “oh, that’s pretty funny” in the same tone of voice they would give to a 5 year old that just drew a rainbow for the 4th time? It doesn’t really help with the hole confidence thing I was talking about before, to be honest…

3. Do I want it too much?

Am I trying too hard? Overthinking it? Isn’t effortlessness funny in itself? No one likes a joke that ends with an anxious look through the crowd to check if people are laughing or not. But as the master over-thinker that I am, I don’t see how I can really help this point.

I wanted to write about this topic, because being the one sparking the laughter is equally as fun as laughing at a really good joke (if not more) and I don’t want women to be robbed of that privilege. I don’t want my kids to hear only “dad jokes” I want “mum jokes” to be a thing too! I don’t want my worth to be defined by my beauty, but my intelligence, my kindness, and hell yeah, my sense of humor!

So what am I going to do about it?

I am going to keep telling bad jokes. Jokes that don’t land as I anxiously look at the receiver, jokes that make people roll their eyes, jokes that make men say “oooh, that’s kinda funny”. I am going to write funny posts in my blog at the risk of being the only one laughing at them. And I am going to make jokes about female topics like periods and motherhood, because kids in every high-school have been drawing dicks in each other’s folders since forever thinking it was hilarious.

And eventually I will stop being self-conscious, and I will stop thinking it too hard, and I won’t be able to hear the condescending comments amongst the laughter.